two things

ONE. I know Yelp already has this item covered, but I would just like to let the records show that I declare El Farolito on 24th and Mission to make some of the best burritos I have ever consumed in my short but glutenous life.  For one, they use fresh avocado instead of gross guacamole that’s been sitting out for days, so that alone makes them a cut above the rest.  Secondly, they’re not all runny with burrito juice so they stay in their foil wrapper and off my clothes.  Which isn’t to say I’m above licking sour cream off my shirt in public, because I’m not, but it’s nice to have the option to not.

best fwiends, until I eat you

TWO. I need to seriously reconsider my decision to not have my car window repaired after it was broken into, because someone has taken up residence in my car.  I’ve known this for a couple of weeks and have been pretty okay with it — nothing was being tampered with aside from the front seats getting pushed forward — but tonight my homeless beneficiary crossed a line.  When I went to move my car for street cleaning earlier tonight, I found my back windows had been mugged up with fingerprints.  As I cast my eyes downward to assess the damage, I saw a brown splotch in the shape of a labia smack dab in the center of my back seat.  It was an unmistakable menstrual blood stain.

I was mortified and completely offended, but then I got over myself.  What did I really expect from all this?  My four years in Santa Cruz turned me into a self-effacing doormat for my block’s homeless community to wipe their tampons on.  This is over.  I am done.  No more handouts.  No more free reign over my car’s upholstery.  NO MORE SYMPATHY.

Exception to this rule: I will still give my loose change to that homeless guy who sometimes hangs out on the corner of 14th and Valencia, because past experience shows that stiffing him will lead to him following me home and defecating in front of my house.


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2 responses to “two things

  1. scott

    i had a good one at ‘el buen sabor’ on 18th and valencia tonight. the good flavor is pretty good. they use real avo. grilled chicken, black beans, rice, pico de gallo, avocado. pretty good burrito, even better when eaten on bart whilst taking up the entirety of the handicapped seat, with my bicycle. breakin’ the law.

  2. jenny!

    There is an awesome spot (if you want to venture into the cuts of east oakland) to get your window replaced. Le Auto Glass is the bee’s knees. I got mine replaced for $110 and they made me tea.

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