James Cameron = Jesus Christ? No.

I have never liked James Cameron films.  Though I do think his films are visually stunning and I love how his stories subtly intertwine themes of technological progress and worldly decay, his character development is lacking.  Particularly, his female protagonists make my vagina cringe.

Sarah Conner: The Terminator saga

It takes Sarah Conner getting knocked up by a secret agent from the future before she grows a pair and sticks it to Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Pregnancy gives you superhuman strength?  But hey, Sarah Conner, there’s no need to glamorize being a single mother.  MTV’s Teen Mom’s got it covered.

Ellen Ripley: Aliens

Oh hey, girl!

Ripley neglects to wear a bra for the entire duration of this film.  On the one hand, this act could symbolize Ripley’s rejection of societal expectations to fasten and conceal an important part of her sexuality.  I suspect, though, that the costume designer recognized how ultimately boring this film is when the alien isn’t onscreen maiming people and thus decided to spice things up for the viewers.

Max Guevara: Dark Angel

Honestly, I never watched this show.  But I love this up-skirt paparazzi shot of Jessica Alba on Rodeo Drive.  Work it, girl.

Neytiri: Avatar

Cameron did a really good job stepping out of the box and designing this character; I was so taken by Neytiri’s huge, infantilizing eyes that I wound up crying hysterically through half the film even though I don’t personally identify with her 15 foot blue ass at all.  In a sense, Neytiri embodies true feminism: she uses her feminine beauty, physical strength, and intelligence to conquer the male-dominated military that has invaded her home AND win over her audience.  Too bad you leave the theater with the sinking realization that no part of her exists in reality.

And just because, here’s a picture of beaver-believer Kate Winslet, the real feminist of this post:


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